Epilogue
by tastewithouttalent
Summary: "Leorio always forgets, when he wakes up." Leorio has to develop new habits to sleep through the night. Set after manga chapter 339.
1. Dreaming

A/N: Inspired by the song "Epilogue" by the Antlers.

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Leorio never manages to get used to it.

Sometimes the dreams are vivid, clear and pristine and indistinguishable from reality even when he drags himself up into proper consciousness. Sometimes they're blurred, just color and impressions of anger or tears or affection. And Kurapika is just as variable as the dreams themselves, seething with scarlet eyes or sobbing into hands over his face or on his knees pleading for forgiveness. Sometimes he's in the blue-and-white he wore when they met. Sometimes he's in that tight black disguise and a long silver wig. Sometimes he's in Leorio's clothes, overlarge white button-up shirt barely clinging to his shoulders and looking so fragile that Leorio reaches out to pull him in close.

Sometimes Leorio is cold and distant, self-righteous in his anger and icy hurt. More often he is the one melting, reaching out even as he's spitting furious barbs at the blond, and Kurapika will smile through tears and lean in against his chest, fit his arms around Leorio's waist as Leorio clings to his shoulders and continues to insist that he is _angry_, he is _very angry_, punctuating his words with desperate kisses against the other's soft blond hair. Kurapika is warm and alive and _there_ in his arms and Leorio can feel forgiveness welling up in his throat and through his blood even before the bite in his voice has started to fade.

There are bad dreams, too, the more painful end of the spectrum although they come less frequently. Leorio holding Kurapika while the blond bleeds out over his hands from a fight finally too big for him, or Leorio finding Kurapika after the other is gone so he can watch the possibility of reunion die instead of Kurapika himself. Sometimes it's just a call, his phone ringing with the number he's been waiting and waiting for, answering in delight only to hear an unfamiliar voice with news that hits like a shock to the heart.

Very, very occasionally the dreams are formed of memories, the taste of Kurapika's lips or the feel of his skin or the shape of his smile, with more or less relation to a past worn threadbare with reminiscence. Those are always a little blurry, a little bit shadowed by the past-tense that Leorio can't shake even while asleep, but they have the comfort of at least being faintly based on reality.

He always forgets, when he wakes up. He'll blink his eyes open to the darkness of the bedroom, and start a self-deprecating smile, and roll over to reach out for the body next to him. The lack of resistance is always startling, when his arm falls to the mattress instead of touching Kurapika's shoulder, and it's always that that finally pulls him into full consciousness, panic rising higher than resigned recollection for a moment of surprise.

The first time it happens he can't go back to sleep. He ends up sitting awake on the couch, watching the hours of the night go by while he stares at the silent darkness of his phone and waits for a call that never comes. By the fourth time it happens, he is able to stay in bed and wait for the hurt to pass so he can go back to sleep. By the time it's become a regular occurrence, he is able to roll over and let reality flood over him, familiarity enough to offset the worst of the hurt.


	2. Waking

The dream itself is barely worth noting. It's one of the usual ones, a combination of half-forgotten memories of Kurapika's smile and the resonance of his voice plus the addition of some sort of apology and explanation. This time, Leorio is easy to persuade, gives in almost immediately to the blond's pleas, and he's just reaching out to touch Kurapika's hair and leaning down to kiss him, just starting to say _I missed you_, when the colors scatter into shadow and he blinks his eyes open into the dark of his bedroom.

Leorio groans, reaches out and over even as his heart is telling him _disappointment_ while his brain is catching up to the why. His arm hits Kurapika rather harder than he expected as he twists over, pulling the blankets askew as he moves and as Kurapika mumbles in faint protest at being interrupted.

Leorio's brain kicks into full gear and he sits up straight in bed, shocked into proper alertness.

"Kurapika?"

His voice is too loud, rough with sleep and nearly a shout with surprise, and Kurapika jerks awake and half-sits up.

"What's wrong?" The tone is muffled and drowsy but recognizable, more real than Leorio's memories can make, and when Leorio reaches out to grab at the blond's shoulder he's _there_, real and warm and _present_. Leorio takes a breath that pulls like a sob in his throat and Kurapika sits up straighter, reaches out for him in return.

"Leorio?" He sounds worried now, if still half-asleep. 'What's wrong?"

It's coming back, now, reality too recent to update Leorio's sleeping subconscious: catching a glimpse of familiar blond hair, chasing Kurapika down, fighting and leaving and coming back, all the half-resolved hurt set aside in favor of sleep. And Kurapika, here, really _here_ beside him, with his hair tangled around sleepy eyes and face relaxed into youthful lines by exhaustion.

"I had a dream," Leorio says, and he turns towards Kurapika and pulls him down to the mattress. Kurapika goes back willingly, though there's a hesitance to his movement that speaks of his confusion. Leorio wraps his arm around Kurapika's shoulders and one over his hip, pulls the blond in tight against his chest, and Kurapika comes in until his forehead hits skin. After a moment he slides an arm under Leorio too, pulls in against the other's waist, and Leorio sighs as the worst of his panic starts to edge off.

"What about?" Kurapika asks, after a moment of silence.

Leorio takes a breath and feels himself go red before he manages to answer. "You. I was dreaming about you."

"Something bad." It's not a question but Leorio shakes his head so Kurapika can feel the movement against the pillow.

"No. Just about you. Usually you're -" He clears his throat, wishes for his glasses for something to adjust. "Usually there's not anyone there when I wake up."

There is a pause of breath. "Oh." Kurapika's voice is soft and level, but after a moment he shifts his head so he can kiss Leorio's skin, and his hold around Leorio's waist goes tighter.

It takes some time before Leorio gets back to sleep, but when he does he sleeps straight through until the morning, wrapped around Kurapika until even his unconscious nightmares recede.


End file.
